TL;DR
Turn quiet afternoons into listening time
- Thousands of audiobooks, podcasts and originals
- Listen on your phone, tablet or Echo — also offline
- Cancel anytime
Sixty and Me published a personal essay urging readers to reconsider “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” The author argues that changing these phrases can support more intentional communication, but the article presents personal experience and advice, not research establishing that the words themselves cause particular outcomes.
Sixty and Me has published a personal advice essay recommending that readers rethink six familiar words and phrases: “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” The author says replacing them with more deliberate language can encourage personal responsibility and improve communication, while the examples and conclusions are presented as personal observations rather than findings from a cited study.
The essay’s author frames the advice around the idea that habitual language affects how people think and relate to others, a topic explored in advice on communicating with someone who won’t try to understand you. The piece describes a coaching exercise in which the author and a colleague shared affirmations by phone for several years. The author says both made progress in their personal and professional lives while changing the words they used, but provides no independent measure of that progress.
For “I’ll try,” the author describes her son Joel’s experience losing weight after his family adopted regular walks and made changes to the food and drinks at home. When he says he will try to maintain those habits, she encourages him to say “I will” instead. The account is a family anecdote; it does not establish that a phrase caused his weight loss or that the approach works for everyone.
The other suggestions focus on framing and relationships. The writer says “can’t” can obscure a choice, “always” and “never” can turn specific frustrations into sweeping accusations, and “if only” can keep attention on regrets. She calls “but” a “verbal eraser,” arguing that it can appear to cancel the appreciation or apology before it. The essay proposes alternatives such as describing what did not happen, focusing on a present opportunity, or joining ideas with “and.”
How Everyday Phrasing Shapes Conversations
The recommendations matter as practical communication advice because these are phrases people commonly use with themselves and others. In the essay’s examples, replacing “You always leave your dishes” with a specific observation could make a complaint less sweeping, while changing an excuse after an apology could affect how sincere the apology sounds. Those are the author’s interpretations, not measured outcomes reported in the piece.
The article also invites readers to distinguish between language that describes a real limitation and language that reflects habit or reluctance. That distinction can be useful, but the essay does not offer a universal rule: people may face genuine barriers, and saying “I can’t” is not necessarily an abdication of responsibility. The advice is best understood as a prompt to examine wording, rather than a claim that particular words must never be spoken.
Products Worth Considering
Oral-B iO Series 3 Rechargeable Electric Toothbrush for Adults, Black
Garmin Forerunner 70 GPS Running Smartwatch, 43 mm, Black
Withings BPM Connect Wi-Fi and Bluetooth Blood Pressure Monitor
As an affiliate, we earn on qualifying purchases.
The Essay’s Personal Examples
The source article, published by Sixty and Me, begins with a story about the author’s friend, whose fiancé reportedly removed the word “divorce” from his dictionaries as a gesture of reassurance. The couple, the author writes, remained married more than 40 years later. The essay then moves from that personal story to a discussion of limiting beliefs, affirmations and everyday language.
The writer also says she chose to avoid routine swearing, partly because she wanted to use more creative language and because her children might repeat what they heard. That section distinguishes the essay’s broader argument from its headline: its main focus is not six swear words, but six phrases that the author believes can discourage change or complicate relationships.
The examples come from the author’s family and personal life, including walks with her son and conversations with a grandson about learning to read. The source does not cite linguistic, psychological or health research to verify the broader claims. Its basis is reflective advice and anecdote.
What the Advice Does Not Establish
The source gives personal examples and recommendations, but does not cite studies showing that avoiding these words produces better health, stronger relationships or greater success. It is also unclear whether the essay’s suggested substitutions would have the same effect across different situations or for different people.
The headline’s phrase “must not say” is stronger than the article’s evidence. The essay offers preferences for more intentional wording, not a formal prohibition. It does not address situations where “can’t” accurately describes a limit, or where “but” is needed to make a distinction. Readers should treat the advice as the author’s perspective rather than a proven rule.
Applying the Suggestions in Daily Speech
The article asks readers to notice the phrases they repeat and consider whether those words reflect the situation accurately. Its proposed next step is to choose replacements that fit the meaning: use a specific description instead of “always” or “never,” acknowledge a choice where appropriate, and try “and” instead of “but” when both parts of a sentence deserve emphasis.
No further reporting or follow-up is described in the source material. Whether readers adopt the suggestions, and what effect the changes might have, remains unreported.
Key Questions
Which six words or phrases does the essay recommend reconsidering?
It identifies “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.”
Does the article say these words should never be used?
The headline uses “must not,” but the essay is personal advice about habitual language. It does not establish a universal rule or say that every use of these words is harmful.
What alternatives does the author suggest?
The author recommends options such as “I will” instead of “I’ll try,” describing what did not happen rather than saying “I can’t,” and using “and” instead of “but” when both parts of a statement matter.
Is the advice backed by research in the source article?
The source presents personal experiences and examples but does not cite research demonstrating that avoiding the phrases causes specific outcomes.
Source: sixtyandme.com
